1. |
Falling Back
02:53
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Falling back, falling off. So wrapped up in what you've lost. Feeling callous, feeling empty and alone. We sit and watch each other crumble, try to help just trip and stumble. Rolling down the hill in parallel.
I was shaking the body, begging it to wake up. All the same old shit still haunts me no matter how much time I spent here growing up.
Feeling small, feeling weak. You just can't get back on your feet. You are helpless and pathetic and you know it. You wonder "Was it this bad last year?" You're just looking for some answers. You're just looking for something that you won't get.
The good stuff comes, the good stuff goes. The good stuff doesn't make you feel any less alone.
Now I'm shaking the body, begging it to wake up. Somewhere along the way you lost me. I still keep hoping I'll just wake up.
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2. |
Bored and Boring
02:35
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It's raining, it's pouring. I'm bored and I'm boring. I heard the words, but didn't heed the warning. A long drive, a short fall, a sunrise I watched with you. But nothing compares to the nothingness I always feel now.
I've been staring at the ceiling. The ceiling's been staring at me. It mouths the words "You don't deserve to be happy." I don't know just what it is, but it's always there in the back of my head. I just can't get my mind off all of these could've beens.
It's snowing, it's pouring. I'm bored and I'm boring. I'll spend months in bed getting drunk in the morning. A three year long comedown, I've been dying downtown. I am, I am, I am, I am not.
Your hair is getting long now and you kind of cry a lot now and la da da da bah bah black sheep.
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3. |
Tim Kinsellout
03:11
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Yellow skies, the dog food factory. A long walk, and your writing assignment.
One episode of Game of Thrones. I walked the tightrope in my kitty cat socks.
Discontinued sports drinks. The Peruvian puff pepper. I just wanna ride my scooter down the half pipe in that old church parking lot, but it got torn down.
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4. |
Parking Garage
03:12
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Another lonely rainy weekend in the attic of the monster house. Mommy left me home all by myself. And I am running out. I am running out. It's been a long time coming. It looked like a long way down. And I am running out.
Another sad confusing morning, wish I hadn't made it home alive. I think about the look of worry on the faces of the fairies in the headlights. And I am running out. I am running out. I take another and pretend that I'm strong. I've been in this place for far too long. I wonder if I'll finally know what's wrong when I'm a puddle on the sidewalk.
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5. |
Casper Slide
01:21
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We never came clean, we never even came close. Now we sit in living rooms with lights off acting just like ghosts. I'll never get back some of those things I left with you. You never gave a fuck, you did everything I was worried you'd do.
And all my friends are growing up and moving on. With every year there's one less person to rely on. You can pretend to be anyone you want to, but we're all still enslaved to the habits we formed in high school.
You'll always think you're better than the people you don't understand.
You'll move away, get rich and married, and have a family. You will be happy, but incomplete.
And you will never see me again.
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6. |
Nothing Much
01:47
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I'm not sure what I've been looking for. I'm not even sure if I'm still looking for it. Some days go so slow, and sometimes my bed's not as comfortable as the floor is.
A cell phone rings, you ask "What's up?" I'm drowning in my nothing much.
I'm not sure if I've gone too far. I can't even remember where I started. I'm slowly turning into something cold and all alone and heavyhearted.
An engine dies, a car door shuts. I'm drowning in my nothing much.
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7. |
Fantasy
03:01
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As I watch my body float away silhouetted by these dark dark days I'd give anything to say I've changed. I don't know how I got here. I've lost so much of myself this year. This time I'm not sure if I'll ever get away. I'm not looking for forgiveness, I'm just looking for a bright side in this. One last arm extended to pull me out of here alive. But I may have left my last shred of luck in my grandfathers pickup truck, driving back into town for one last goodbye.
I can't shake this empty feeling. There's nothing left that I believe in. Nothing feels as good as it used to. I can't keep my eyes off you. You're fading in and out of view. Here's to another nothing new. I'm running circles in my head and spending most my life in bed. I wake up angry every day now. I'll try to lull myself to sleep pretending this is something deep, waiting for what's left of me to fade out.
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8. |
Holiday
05:25
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I came home from holiday, and I fell in love again. I tried to let it all just fade away. I stepped in uncertain.
First I wonder how we got here. Then I wonder what it means. Then I think it probably doesn't mean anything.
I wish I could tell you how I feel. I wish I could tell you how I've been, but I don't think I know the honest answer. I don't think I ever have.
The list of questions just never ends. I've been trying to accept that sometimes the answers just aren't out there. Not everything has to make sense.
So now I wonder how I got here. Now I wonder what it means. Now I wonder why it should have to mean anything.
I'm just waiting to fall back, fall back out of love. I don't know where we're going. We all have some Satan in us.
I came home from holiday, and I fell in love again. I tried to let it all just fade away. I stepped in uncertain.
I wish I could tell you how I feel. I wish I could tell you how I've been, but I don't think I know the honest answer. I don't think I ever have.
The list of questions just never ends, and I've been trying to accept that sometimes the answers just aren't out there. Not everything has to make sense.
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9. |
Get Home
06:54
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I've spent so long feeling so alone. I've spent my whole life just trying to get home.
You don't love me, and I know. But I stay here so you're not alone.
I've spent my whole life just trying to get home.
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